Be Brilliant; Make Olive Oil (Just Journal)

Everyone who knows me, knows I have a love affair with paper. I write little notes and reminders on small pieces of paper and then stick them inside books, planners, my purse, etc. I have also used a monthly/weekly planner consistently for at least 20 years of my life- keeping the last 12 years in my box of "junk" in the attic. You would think all of this would keep me neat, organized, and tidy. But if that were true the title of the this Blog would definitely NOT be "Messy Me."

One morning routine I started when trying to adopt was to use a journal during my morning quiet time with God. Over the years, this has come to be something I cherish. In the beginning, I tried to keep my journals very concise and orderly... but again... can't.do.it! So they've evolved. What started out as reflection on the Scripture I read that morning, prayers for others, and then just general me talking to God- has turned into words, prayers, prayer request, drawings, doodlings, rants, and sometimes encryptic talks between me and God where I only use the first letter of whatever word I was saying which means I can't go back and re-read (obviously I think these discussions never need to be revisited). In a nutshell- my journals have come to represent me and my time with God; in whatever state I may be in when I arrive to visit with Him in my PJs and coffee that morning. 

My biggest take-aways and benefits of using a journal are: 
1. Slow Dowwwnnnn: You know you need to. We go about our lives and days so haphazardly. Journaling causes me to slow down and truly spend time before the throne with our Creator.
2. Get it Out: I don't know about you, but I tend to bottle up my true self sometimes. I don't always say what I'm struggling with, what's on my mind and heart, and/or really stop to consider how this might affect me. Journaling provides me with that opportunity. 

But the biggest reward of journaling (and the reason I urge you to start) is simply for the benefit of going back and re-reading your journal. While moving forward provides the benefits I just mentioned, going back and reading- SEEING- how God has used the situations, Scripture, the fires you are walking through, the highs and lows, the answered prayers and the answers you're continuing to pray about is amazing. If anyone asked me how I know that God is evident in my life as a driving force to be reckoned with- I would simply hand him my journals. They speak for themselves. They serve as a constant reminder that My Redeemer truly lives. He speaks to me daily- even when I am skeptical and feel like maybe I am just talking and doodling alone. He prepares us well in advance for the valleys we are about to walk through and rest assured, He knows it all before we ever utter the first word to speak to Him about something. A sweet friend recently said, "Nothing catches God off guard. He knows it all before we do. He walks before us daily in all situations." Re-reading my journals, I see this statement as fact. 

It is said that if an olive tree is cut down, the shoots from its roots continue to grow, ensuring it's continued existence. Up to five new trunks could come into being. I feel like in many ways this is a good analogy for the trials and setbacks we encounter in life. God is continually trimming us up, snipping our dead parts, pressing us to be used for His purpose in His timing. Journaling allows you to see this as evidence in your life. So I challenge you. Buy a small journal. (I personally like the kind with a spiral so I can fold it back, instead of the type that are bound like a book- but again, it's a personal preference.) Ask God how He would like to use it as a way to remind you of His presence in your life, and play with it until you find something that works for you. On the day you think, "I can't do this. I'm not a 'writer'," go back and just re-read what you have so far. Re-live that quiet time, that struggle, or joy with the Lord, and realize maybe you CAN journal. There's no set method to it. Just do it. It may be messy, but always worth it. You will see- God is making olive oil. He is pressing you and molding you. He is using you for His purpose. The Hebrew words for olive tree (tree of oil) is ek shemen. Shemen is related to the word shemesh which means "to be brilliant." So grab a journal, a pen, your Bible............. and be brilliant.

How You Watch Matters

It's been awhile since I have posted, a great deal has happened within my life in the almost year it was been since my last post, and God is teaching me constantly to rely on His timing, His ways, His plan. Always.

I feel a lot like ole Mary and her friends these days. Our family has faced a trial that has tested our faith and stretched our trust. In this Scripture, the women were waiting and watching as Jesus was wrapped in linen cloth and laid within the tomb. I imagine Mary Magdalene to be grief-stricken and devastated as she watched. The Savior, whom had come to save them all, dead..... laid to rest. I'm sure she felt hurt, maybe betrayed, confused. These are the exact feelings I have been faced with recently. And if I am honest, a little angry at the overall situation- yet knowing I have a job to do. As the woman usually does- she picks up the pieces and carries on with life, while dealing with her array of emotions as they come and when she has time to deal with them. 

And yet...

And yet, God is in the miracle business. What Mary didn't seem to expect is for Jesus to raise from the dead. I mean, yeah- he had told his disciples and followers this- but they didn't really believe it. In their minds- for all intents and purposes- this was the end. We even see them in Scripture showing up at the tomb again several days later to check on things and continue with final burial rituals. 

But as we know, it WASN'T the end. God had far bigger plans to restore the human race, and if he can restore a whole people- this gives hope to my own situation. God calls and speaks to us daily, but often we are too loud, too stubborn, too proud to really stop and listen. I pray that we would not be Mary sitting in a hopeless stupor, seeing nothing good to come from the situations we find ourselves in; but instead we be Mary who knows that despite what reality may seem like- God is in the details.... you just have to look for them. And trust.